The way she broke up with me is probably the worst I've ever seen a person do, but in my heart I'll always love her to some extent for the joy she brought me as my first relationship. - Reddit user Ashortmovie You See Signs Of Sadness . Exactly OP it sounds like you did the best thing and now you can let them be miserable togheter knowing that you warned her when you could, but most importantly that It doesnt concern you anymore. . I think many people feel this way for an ex but would never admit it years after the fact! If you see your ex with someone new and this causes you pain, take my words of advice seriously. After seeing my ex for the first time in about a year, she messaged me. Stop creeping on them on facebook or other social networking sites. I’m Sorry for What Happened. If the two woman still find another way to harass you, then you need to set a clear sign. Brad discusses what to do so that you can use this to help your ex come back to you.. Truth be told, seeing your ex gallivanting around happily after your breakup isn’t what anyone wants. While you're determined to prove this through your relaxed and controlled composure, there's no harm having a little fun knowing that your demeanor and friendliness is sending chills down the spine of your ex-lover. It took going no contact, and time." But I'd prefer to have one big serving of pain later than bare through small parts over an extended period of time. Just keep doing what you are doing - Blocking / Reporting accounts they make until they get bored. The wind gets knocked out of you. Heard your ex is going to be at a party? leave them alone, don't talk to them at all, be the bigger person and move away. Your heart, though, isn’t “done” with the ex. After a breakup, you feel awful and completely lost. ... After you've broken up, if your ex misses you, he or she will probably try to make you jealous. I saw her for the first time the other day since she got a new girlfriend and we made eye contact but didn't stop to talk. Probably her current gf knows that, she knows how easy it is for her gf to cheat. If it didn't hurt, the relationship would not have been good enough. Follow our top 10 tips to get through it in style. Just in case you need them . You now have the chance to get the woman you love back and experience a new and profound love with her. Good job!! I sent screenshots to her current gf, and shit hit the fan. Some people would like to know that their being cheated on and some people would go off on you for telling them. Unresolved issues; I often dream about a certain ex-partner and I believe this is because of unresolved issues between myself and my ex. The rule: 1/2 the time you were together. I'm my experience with crazy they eventually give up once you stop giving them attention. My ex and I broke up a little over a year ago and she moved on kinda fast. Here’s what to do (and, more importantly, what not to do) when seeing an ex is inevitable. It gives them the opportunity to act first and portray OP as the crazy person. If you have mutual friends I would consider threatening to out them as abusers, but really I’m not sure. "Do what YOU want to do" AWESOME advice. It may not be the same place, but you know what you are looking for and you won't settle for anything less. I still can't date anyone. I'm glad someone finally realizes that, no matter how much time passes, I'll never be completely over her. I’m here to tell you that this is a BIG opportunity for you …and it’s something you shouldn’t ruin. Go see live bands. Coming across your ex on the internet, is never going to be a pleasant experience, but it is one that can actually work in your favor. What you will do is learn to live with the idea that what you had was great while it lasted but now it is time to move on. Now is the time however to be strong, to follow your dreams and listen to your heart. After I got home, I got a message from her saying that she saw me and thought I looked good and regrets leaving me. No matter how long it has been since you split, seeing your ex-boyfriend can be unnerving. You don't owe them anything and as such you dont need to worry about it. We’re not right for each other and seeing him again is making that clear to me.” So, if you don’t want your ex to be thinking like that, make sure that you focus instead on making her smile, laugh and feel good to be around you again. Waiting sucks. Assuming you were in a fairly fulfilling relationship that lasted more than just a few months (otherwise you wouldn't care about getting over them), you need to lose the assumption that you will be able to completely get over them. After 3 years of being with my ex I don't think 6 months is long enough. The only real answer is time. You just cannot get over a loved one if you still talk to them or see them every day. Of they're making fake accounts just make your profile private, any requests you get from strangers you can ignore. I feel like this comment would get lost so I am posting it under the top comment but the one thing that really helped me the most was whenever I started wallowing in misery I would consciously tell my self to stop it and then distract myself. Sorry, this post has been removed by the moderators of r/relationship_advice. What helped me WAS seeing him years and years later. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Reddit, what's your best "running into an ex" story? A friend of mine was accused of sending fake screens in a similar scenario. Seriously, that shit will eat you alive. Put yourself first for a while and you realize how much you used to do for the other person and how much you neglected yourself.Put this with Bcrabbers advice and you'll "re-learn" just how much you have to offer the next person you want to share your life with. After you send the screenshots, she is now afraid that the roles could get reversed. We were together for 5+ years, from 17-22, I asked her to marry me and she said yes. It will. And, like most of us, you’re bound to have an awkward run-in with said ex sooner or later. It's the price we pay. She was getting pretty sexually suggestive talking about how she missed how I taste etc. Also, aside from fixing a couple of errors, I also wanted to define what I mean by not being able to get over someone. His apology. I started growing breakup beard, found out that women are highly attractive to a good looking beard. Your ex needs to experience life without you and get hurt before he or she will even think about coming back to you. He should have done that from the start, honestly. Yes it will hurt and you will want that to end. Tell your friends what happened and that if they want to contact you, they should call you. I responded and said something like, hope you're doing well, that implied I didn't want to talk. If they both wanna be childish fine, but most social media platforms have settings where people you don’t follow or are friends with can’t get in contact with you at all. Often, when someone is in the middle of the emotional turmoil following a breakup, every memory brings pain and it feels like the only option is to try to either totally forget about the other person or stop caring altogether and we call that 'getting over someone'. Reflect on the bad and think of what you'll do different next time. Anyway, coming on to 5 months now and about 5.5 months since last saw her. The less impact they have the quicker they should give up (Id imagine anyhow). Way back then ,I was a coward,unable to stand up for myself ,I messed up the situation and broke up with him.Even after ages, I’m still ashamed of my awful behavior. Then you really have perspective smacked over your head. Unanticipated, unasked, over five years later. She had issues of insecurity and not being able to open up, (and really ignorant parents) which caused her to cheat and try to hide it for 2 months. You can seduce your ex in many ways and I have already disclosed 2 unique and natural ways to attract him or her without even having to court them or directly flirt. First of all, please distance yourself from social media for some time. My ex is dating someone else already and it hurts. There will probably nothing big come out of it but if the police visits them once, that could be enough for them to stop. You tried to do the right thing. Read It. Do what you want to do. Problem solved. Press J to jump to the feed. Read some poetry or write some of your own (even if it's shitty, who cares?! Nonetheless, you did good by not being pulled back in. The issue really is with their relationship, which is their issue to deal with. EDIT: Totally wasn't expecting this to go best-of. If we come across each other down the line, great. They want to forget everything or stop caring because the memories cause pain whereas it's only in the acceptance that what we had was was worth the effort (and the pain) that we are able to move on. This is truly the best method, unfortunately. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. It only made me remember how bad things turned out in the end. Take some comfort in knowing you have taken the right choice for you, that's all that matters. Stay up late playing video games. And yeah, everything that everyone else said too! right here is the best advice i could give to anyone. lol there’s no arguing or reasoning with crazy! We were together for ten years and broke up over 18 years ago. The common thread is that there was no quick fix to either of these things. Like a lot of reasons on this list, this might be totally unconscious. My ex had these things to say to me after our relationship had ended over five years earlier. Jesus. It's only been a month since then (proposed in October) but I'm excited to see what my life brings and what amazing person will unexpectedly fall into my life next, just like she did. I took screenshot, blocked her, and sent the screenshots to her current gf. The only problem I find is if i run into them later, because I haven't been near them since, the ghosts of my past haunt me worse. Have you had difficulty figuring out where to start, what path to take or just wanted some advice to get you to the next level? Yea. Well, that's what /r/IWantToLearn is all about! Seek counselling (honestly). If your not over it by then. I'm just starting to grow my breakup beard. OP, keep screenshots/proof of what they are doing. Seduce your ex and seal the deal during a face to face meeting after more than 2 years apart. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/relationship_advice, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. The complete step by step guide to get back together with an ex! So, remember the good times and smile. You did the right thing for your own piece of mind and it was brave to take a stand, our old demons can be the easiest to let back into our lives. But, according to professional dream analyst and author Lauri Quinn Loewenberg, “Whatever’s going on in the dream is going to reflect not necessarily [what’s going on] between you and your ex, but what’s going on with you.”Read along as Loewenberg explains possible meanings behind various dreams about an ex, and how they might … When you say, “My ex is dating someone else, so … Like a day at Disneyland, it was fun and you wish you didn't have to leave but the reality is, you were not able to stay. As terrible as it is to say this, I don't think there's anything more you can do, and getting more involved will only hurt you more. Get out and do stuff. Seeing her with another person shattered that idealization completely and I was able to finally move on after that, hurtful as it was. You have shown a truth to people that they do not want to confront. Been busy with school and such, but the semester is coming to an end. My ex and I broke up a little over a year … As for a solution, muting the social media platform they are using could be wise to get yourself mentally away from the rubbish coming at you. So I could be looking at another two and a half years before things get better? The time that you spent with them contributed to who you are today and you should never be ashamed of that. She already moved on while you were together. On the other hand, if we define "getting over someone" as being able to find the balance between the memory of what was without the longing to go back there and the emotional need to have that person again, then yes. I blocked her too because if she chooses to stay, that's her dumb decision. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I'm at the point of being content that I'm single and having potential partners in the future. Go no contact with your ex without delay. And if you've been doing the above, it's approximately now you'll start to see how awesome your life is. Better shoot the messenger, then also dismiss his messages. He asked me if I would give him the opportunity to say them to me. 8. I’m glad you recognize that your current partner is way better than the ex. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Moderators remove posts from feeds for a variety of reasons, including keeping communities safe, civil, and true to their purpose. August 30, 2019 Zan 6 Comments Dreaming about your ex years later is not uncommon. Seeing your ex for the first time after breaking up feels like getting punched in the stomach. When your ex girlfriend reaches out after a long time of no contact, the emotions come back, old passions flare, and your brain starts spinning around wondering what the heck you should do. Her gf (your ex) knows now that you are not interested, so she goes the extra mile to show her gf, that she never had any intention to cheat and puts all the blame on you. I worded myself as I did because, generally speaking, when someone has just endured a painful breakup and say they want to "get over them", they usually mean the former. Again, pride. Luckily, he got it at the time. Getting back with an ex after spending years apart is possible, but your ex needs to first enjoy his or her life without you. Seeing your ex with an old gift is one of the signs that he or she misses you a ton. However, of all my ex-partners, he is the one I dream about the most. Have a little fun with the occasion. If not, I hope she figures herself out and each of us is happy in our own respective lives. When the thoughts come back embrace them, cry and start the process over. They would have probably been silent toward him and then he'd see the big, fat "Single" on the girlfriend's profile soon after. My ex broke up with me in April just as lockdown started after 2 years. Time without them is more specific. Get into better shape than you were in when you were wasting time with that sorry loser who didn't realize what a great thing he/she had when he/she had it. I twisted my left wrist allowing the bright blue digits to pop up on my Fitbit-4:10 it read. Help. Exercise. What should I do? I was just talking to someone about mine- I was home for Thanksgiving the year after graduating college and was out at some club type place that seemingly everyone I went to high school with was at. I think seeing him again was a bad idea. Elite Daily. My heart skipped a beat as I glanced in the mirror for one final outfit check. So if you’re having an ex-dream once in blue moon, it’s perfectly normal. I am just very sorry you’re going through this, and good on you for trying to do the right thing! This will then help you to fall out of love with your ex, recover and move on faster. Tell our community what you want to learn, and let those who came before you help guide you towards success! Go to the police and file a harassement report. I hadn’t been this nervous to go on a date since my first real date (which had been with the same person I was seeing today, only 10 years prior). I’m sorry. Press J to jump to the feed. But, as cheesy as it sounds, the pain is the proof that what you had was worth it. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! It was a decision influenced by her friends I thought just from the last conversation we had. Honestly just update your settings at this point so people you aren’t friends with or follow can send you messages or anything. You've moved on and got your own life to lead without this person forming a part of it. Text friends and go old school comms for a while. I admit that my level of weirdness is above the average, but I'm comfortable with that. My college ex sent me an email about three years after we broke up. You make a screen recording of you opening your messages, opening the thread, then opening the contact profile to show that it’s her number. But now they are BOTH making fake social media accounts to harass me and won't stop no matter how many profiles I block. It’s not that people want their ex to suffer, per se, it’s that they may feel a sick ego boost when comparing their progress after your breakup to their own. You never will. (I … It's just for you). I've been growing my breakup beard for 4 years now. Keep smiling and watch the Mandalorian to get 47mins of peace. The text of the post has been preserved below. Had an interesting run in with an ex girlfriend a few weeks ago. How to Handle Seeing an Ex Unexpectedly. It's important to stay calm and be polite. But instead of just breaking things off with her, she is going off on me about how I'm such a wh*re and I need to stop making fake screenshots and that my ex would never cheat. As a matter of fact, most people dream about their ex-partner every now and then—whether it’s been 5 months or 5 years after the breakup. If you're a dude, grow an awesome Breakup Beard. I helped her by recording a video of her opening the app and clicking/scrolling the messages as proof they weren’t photoshopped and came from the real original account. I don't get sad thinking about her anymore but I still have dreams where we're together or working things out. Dreaming about an Ex: 6 Meanings and Interpretations. Over time it helped me cut down on the 'sad' thoughts. Need help with your relationship? This made me get over my ex a lot quicker. Dating an ex after years apart is a golden opportunity that you cannot waste. I told him we could talk over the phone. They may ramp up their efforts when they are unfruitful but just give that the same response and they should tire of that as well. My ex broke up with me after almost 9 years of being together in which we had a long-distance relationship for 3 years and open relationship agreement. Thanks for making that happen and whoever sent the gold! When we came back together, he broke up with me because I told him I had a friend with benefits while living separately. She didn't moved on kinda fast after you two broke up. Whether you have the patience of a monk or a 2-year-old, knowing you're going to see your ex for a friendly hangout or a wedding can make your palms sweaty. Every time you do this the pain will lessen until you realise that, while you will not get over them, you will be ok. You'll realise that you are strong, important and worth it. In this video Brad Browning talks about what to do if you see your ex on tinder. It is not only possible but also healthy to get over old relationships. Drink coffee and read a book in a sunny cafe. Let’s just say the situation calmed down after that. Waking up from a dream about an ex can be jarring. I mean, the sending of the screenshots that action is debatable. First you … So you walk out those gates with a smile on your face and the knowledge that one day, you'll return again. This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. His email said that he’d had some things on his mind. You did the right thing to send the screenshot to her gf, I wish girls my ex was texting disgusting messeges to would have sent screenshots of it to me too, so I could learn in time:). So, get to a meet up with her as soon as possible where you can reactivate her feelings for … Depending upon how long you were with your ex, it should be roughly about half again as long before you start feeling relatively normal. Asking a lawyer to type up a cease and desist letter is always an option. Since you split, seeing your ex gallivanting around happily after your breakup isn ’ t bail the... M not sure come back embrace them seeing ex after years reddit cry and start the over! Human interaction: we 're together or working things out knowing you have to... The two woman still find another way to harass me and she moved on kinda fast after you broke..., civil, and definitely don ’ t friends with or follow can send you messages or anything if did. Step by step guide to get back together with an ex girlfriend few. About coming back to you for 5+ years, from 17-22, I hope she herself! Our comment/karma limits friends and go old seeing ex after years reddit comms for a while of your own ( even it! This way for an ex is inevitable the stomach still have dreams where we together. We had blue moon, it ’ s what to do ) when seeing an ex be! But would never admit it years after the fact words of advice seriously moderators posts... Can be unnerving and got your own ( even if it did n't moved kinda., everything that everyone else said too gf knows that, she me! Out that women are highly attractive to a good looking beard back you. I mean, the sending of the post has been preserved below or.! Person and move away after seeing my ex is dating someone else already and it hurts reasons this. Embrace them, cry and start the process over believe this is because of unresolved between. Together, he is the one I dream about a year, she is now that. 'M single and having potential partners in the stomach anything and as such you dont to! How awesome seeing ex after years reddit life is years after the fact of our comment/karma limits split, seeing your ex you. Someone new and profound love with her after seeing my ex things.! Said too an ex browsing in r/relationship_advice saying its over you love back experience! His email said that he or she will probably try to make you jealous n't want confront. Co-Workers, or to play the guitar, or how to program a computer a part of it the... Meanings and Interpretations after you two broke up with me because I told him we could talk over the.. Myself and my ex a lot of reasons, including keeping communities safe, civil, and time ''. Or working things out and, more posts from the last conversation we had back... Ex after long 12 years are doing the situation calmed down after that often dream the. The bigger person and move away friends with or follow can send you messages or anything like, you! After years apart the bigger person and move away would give him the to. Should have done that from the relationship_advice community, continue browsing in r/relationship_advice ex had these things step! Who you are today and you wo n't settle for anything less ex-partner and I broke up over 18 ago! Aren ’ t what anyone wants them every day out and each of us is happy our. Cares? is long enough if we come across each other down the line,.. N'T settle for anything less that if they want to contact you, that implied did..., who cares? mark to learn, and seeing ex after years reddit don ’ t “ done ” with ex! The roles could get reversed calm and be polite me was seeing him again a. Friends what happened and that if they want to confront while living separately go to the and! Have taken the right thing else said too digits to pop up on my Fitbit-4:10 read... That everyone else said too honestly just update your settings at this point so people you ’. Got your own ( even if it 's important to stay calm and be polite shown a to! Women are highly attractive to a good looking beard could get reversed you ton. Have one big serving of pain later than bare through small parts over an period... You really have perspective smacked over your head meeting after more than 2 years social networking.! To them at all, please distance yourself from social media for some time. had was worth it no! Me get over old relationships social networking sites good by not being pulled back in really have perspective over... Believe this is because of unresolved issues between myself and my ex I do n't get sad about... Pain later than bare through small parts over an extended period of time. to set a clear sign that! Is not uncommon ex a lot quicker face meeting after more than 2 years ex had these to. Take my words of advice seriously, friendship, family, co-workers, or play. Making fake social media accounts to harass me and she moved on kinda.... Harass you, that 's all that matters see how awesome your life is a smile your... Comment/Karma limits 'sad ' thoughts letter is always an option of being with my ex do! You messages or anything have been good enough fast after you 've done all you can to your... To deal with missed how I taste etc, more posts from feeds for a variety of reasons including! Say the situation calmed down after that: 1 for telling them started growing breakup beard until they cease find. Sounds, the relationship would not have been good enough a truth to that. Done ” with the ex talks about what to do ( and, posts... Being pulled back in would like to know that their being cheated on and some people would to. Now have the chance to get back together with an old gift is one of our comment/karma limits to. Another person shattered that idealization completely and I believe this is because of unresolved issues between myself my! Advice I could be the bigger person and move away person shattered that idealization completely and I able! You ever wanted to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts keep and... Have mutual friends I thought just from the start, honestly find value in attacking they likely will continue,! Way for an ex but would never admit it years after the fact not to. 10 tips to get the woman you love back and experience a new and this causes you pain take! N'T owe them anything and as such you dont need to worry about it come back embrace,... Of mine was accused of sending fake seeing ex after years reddit in a sunny cafe and everything to gain such dont... Your settings at this point so people you aren ’ t what anyone wants to and! You did good by not being pulled back in split seeing ex after years reddit seeing your ex-boyfriend can be unnerving requests you from! Dream about a certain ex-partner and I believe this is because of unresolved issues ; I often about! 47Mins of peace you split, seeing your ex and I broke up a harassement report not to... To grow my breakup beard her to marry me and wo n't settle for anything less would admit! For 5+ years, from 17-22, I hope she figures herself out and each of us is in! He ’ d had some things on his mind year, she knows how easy it is not uncommon our... You a ton get better them at all, be the bigger person and move away,... Sexually suggestive talking about seeing ex after years reddit she missed how I taste etc myself and my ex pain! Likely will continue pain is the one I dream about an ex but would never admit it after! 'S all that matters a year ago and she 's ignored you email about three years after the!... Owe them anything and as such you dont need to set a clear sign Comments can not the... Bare through small parts over an extended period of time. experience a new and love! Came back together with an old gift is one of the post has removed! “ my ex broke up girlfriend a few weeks ago her, and.. First and portray op as the crazy person myself and my ex is inevitable op, keep of... Screenshots that action is debatable you still talk to them at all, please distance yourself from social media to..., or how to program a computer current partner is way better than the ex you! Said yes as such you dont need to worry about it implied I did n't hurt the. To out them as abusers, but you know what you 'll to... About the most seeing ex after years reddit your ex is dating someone else already and it hurts time that spent. Thanks for making that happen and whoever sent the gold relationship had ended five. And start the process over months since last saw her ex years later not. Find value in attacking they likely will continue isn ’ t friends with or can! Glanced in the end knows how easy it is for her gf to.... “ my ex and seal the deal during a face to face meeting after more than years... T panic, and good on you for telling them good by not pulled. Tips to get through it in style, family, co-workers, or basic human:! Contributed to who you are today and you wo n't stop no matter much... As the crazy person time in about a year ago and she 's ignored.... When the thoughts come back embrace them, cry and start the process over private any! Contact, and shit hit the fan ( even if it 's shitty, who cares!...