This new girl I'm "dating" well, that's a mess. 12-10-2008, 12:01 AM #2. Because she had no problem telling me she's seeing someone, rather than give us both a chance and see what happens. That may or may not be the case..the only person who REALLY knows is the woman herself. The first one was on a similar degree to me when we were together, and after we broke up she ended up dropping out and then trying to become a croupier. And he happened to be the cold-blooded jerk that broke your heart and left you for another woman. "If you and your [partner] run into their ex and the exchange is normal, without any verbal or physical awkwardness, then they are probably more into you than their ex," Henry says. Now, I said longer than six months because it takes at least four months to get to know a person romantically to a high degree, and another two months to form an emotional connection with him or her.   Pasted as rich text. Well, fear no more, because this quiz will let you know if he really loves you or jus... Are you starting to worry whether your boyfriend/husband loves you or not? You may even fear being abandoned by a partner, who, in your mind, couldn't possibly be completely over their ex. It doesn't matter that he said you're "prettier on the inside." We met at a bar my sophomore year of college. My boyfriend is more successful than me Watch. Just work on yourself and support him Thanks for this, I … I remind myself that I have my own strengths, my own beauty. She didn’t cause a scene, but she was passive-aggressive and childishly defensive. And my ex is doing better than ever. fivespot, “My girlfriend makes a lot more than me. Answer Questions. Ko. If I just look at the amount of love and not any other relationship factors, I would honestly say I “loved” my first boyfriend more than I love my husband. I'm guessing engagement isn't too far off. You fell in love. In relationships, you are only responsible for yourself. An ex would not tell a mutual friend "I miss him so much and cry myself to sleep at night". Because fixating on something and someone you have no control over does not leave room for reassurance that will stick. Your dislike of the ex doesn’t belong to your partner; it belongs to you. I kept comparing myself with him all the time. I've been in a similar situation where I was feeling a bit bad that my ex had it going better than me. There is nobody else like me. In the mean time I got engaged and started my own business. I dont know what she has done with her life if she is succeesful or not. We are not friends anymore but enemies . She’d invested a whole lot of her heart and soul and time and energy in him, though they maintained separate residences, and she was devastated when he left, with the same all-consuming dark grief we’ve all been through. You dated for a while, but things started falling apart. That has happened to me before and I tried to tell my ex boyfriend that it made me uncomfortable, which resulted in my being lectured about “controlling him.” That relationship ended fairly soon after that nonsense. When you invest yourself in the belief that your partner’s ex is better than you or that the ex has an agenda to reunite with your partner, there’s no stopping the depths into which you can sink yourself, your partner, and your relationship. I know he loves me, but im curious to whose more attractive on strictly physical appearence. Our relationship is the longest he has been in, and we have a five-month-old daughter. It's like it came out of left field. I posted snide, spiteful comments to indirectly take my ex down a peg or two. Yup, however, it was tough being told the her ex was more fun to be with than me. So now I'm officially in the "friendzone." You are suspicious that your partner’s ex has ulterior motives. You resent your partner, but you resent their ex even more for having had a relationship with him or her. What do you do if your boyfriend’s ex is actually “better” than you – better looking, more successful, highly intelligent, wealthier, etc.? After breaking up with me he became more focused in school work, got over his Facebook addiction, and even became student of the month for … The sun before ! One guy in particular always goes on about how upset he is with how his life turned out because he never had anyone. What is the attraction married men have on single women? Ring shopping has happened; he’s met my dad (no man in my life ever gets to meet Dad). He tells her too much about us....she tells him too much about her self...he thinks I am insecure....well I just feel uncomfortable him going over to her place....he wants to be friends with her...but she wont accept us and says we wont work and he is in fantasy land....she is still angry that he divorced her...she also thinks he is unable to love any body. I think deep down ... everyone is 'pathetic'. I did not believe he gave her up and still refused to give him the cash. If they even spoke to my ex, that was a betrayal worse than any other. and … I didn’t think too much about the difference in our income until now. 7 answers. This reader has a situation that really demonstrates how Girls seriously hits the … So that's my life. Your ex was merely reacting on impulse by saying or doing the things that seemed right at the time. Ko. I took classes at the gym, tried meeting people at bars an online. Your right nothing wrong with sucessful people. Your vigilance is meant to somehow prevent your partner from going back to their ex. “My girlfriend makes a lot more than me. That happens when your ex is more professionally successful than you. Hey, any famous is more famous than I am. Then she says to him he is just taking my money...I plan on buying into his house once we are married...I did buy us a car..but once the house payment comes in he will pay me back. When you're assessing your partner's ex and insist that you are actually looking at your partner’s ex in the same way your partner does — which you're not — you may deem their ex to be more attractive, intelligent, or successful than you. what matters is that you have to move on and not be so concerned with 'measuring yourself' against her. It’s serious. I’ve been so busy I don’t even remember the last time I thought about him for more than a second or two.” “Thank you, God, from the bottom of my heart that the woman he dropped in on is healthy, happy, and busy, making a lot of progress in her life he couldn’t help but notice, instead of that hollow, heartbroken, immobile shell of a woman who was living here a year and a half ago.” The reality is that a broken heart can happen whether you put trust in your relationship or not. We all have them. Just remember, there is a reason that he is with you, and not with her. It's like it came out of left field. And my ex is doing better than ever. My boyfriend has a minature fox terrier that gets way more attention than me. You fear your partner's ex is plotting to get back together (and will succeed). to bed (set, go) 23. hit the nail on the head. The results of these kinds of comparisons are unfairly burdensome and unrealistic: They are exes, after all. I still don't want to know her and I doubt I ever will again. He’s a performer and already has a solid fan base and is traveling the country and has plans to travel the world under his new management to perform. Now, if her guy is seeing the ex socially without Smith present, talking to her often, etc, then yes that is a big red flag. Mutual friends kept talking about what a great time he was having at all these parties, girls running after him, & that he still had his head on straight and everyone liked him alot. Find other places to vent about the ex. i know plenty of people who have successful careers AND are perfectly happy, centered people. My ex and I were together for 6 years. like the others said - maybe she he is a rich jerk....... or maybe he's the nicest sweetest greatest guy who also has TONS of money. At that point he had been single for about 8 months after being dumped by his girlfriend of 2.5 years. I only wear eyeliner and mascara and she wears literally everything. At first, I thought I was uncomfortable with how pretty and fun she seemed, but I realized it was just that I felt that he loved her significantly more than he loved me. I put whiny statuses about my ex all over the damn place. His mistake is the more obvious one: It is deeply fucked that your boyfriend said his ex is more attractive than you. I know how you feel. You may not realize how much responsibility you are placing on your partner to help you feel more secure about yourself. You see my ex turned out to be a doctor, even though she is younger compared to me. The guy is usually a stuck up * * * * * who sleeps around. Remember your strengths. Rather, the onus is primarily on you to manage your insecurity about a relationship that predates you, especially when the fixation is yours, not your partner's. I remind myself that I have my own strengths, my own beauty. If your partner often speaks with an ex girlfriend … The reason i say that is, if your doing things your interested in you wont pay as much attention to what girls are in the room you will be more interested in who in this room can i talk to about my intrests .... ex. One of the questions was: “Have you ever loved anyone more than me?” I've become more active on social media, enough that it's inspiring me and not being the dark hole people make it out to be (other than looking up his ex). I was in a bar having a great time, and she was awful to me from the beginning. i know plenty of people who have successful careers AND are perfectly happy, centered people. You are allowed to resent your partner’s ex for your own sanity, but you’re not allowed to impose your feelings on your partner. The most "successful" people are some of the most screwed up and unhappy people on the planet. And you want to know what’s worse? Actress Bisola Aiyeola reveals beautiful images to mark her 35th anniversary today. Ring shopping has happened; he’s met my dad (no man in my life ever gets to meet Dad). It is the old cliche of women snagging a wealthy doctor, lawyer, businessman etc. we don't know this ex gf nor her new boyfriend. Have been for years. Despite past traumas, there is no way to build a secure foundation in your partnership other than to take a leap of faith that your partner is who they appear to be. Tl:dr My boyfriend treated his ex like a queen and treats me like an afterthought. If you were in a relationship long-term (longer than six months), and your ex has left you for someone else, keep reading, because this is the article for you. fivespot, you are not pathetic at all. Its not your place to worry or compare anymore. If I was talking to my ex as an old friend (which I NEVER will) and she asked how I was doing, I'd have to lie and say, you know what...I'm great!   Your previous content has been restored. The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. He should be worrying about himself though, you are right in that regard. My live-in boyfriend and I have been together for two years. to bed (set, go) 23. Live your life and don't pay her any mind. For QAnon Believers Facing Reality, What Happens Now?   You cannot paste images directly. From an unbiased outside view, I think it would be wise to have a conversation with your husband about how his defending of her hurts you. Last weekend, I met my boyfriend’s ex. Actually women who marry into rich families tend to be really unhappy. you go out to eat with your current fling and you see a whack of girls and think there cute and begin to wonder if they would like you... meanwhile your trying to keep up with a conversation about your flings hair ( maybe your interested in hair idk use something you are not overly excited about). These concerns can result in anxiety, preoccupation, and obsession. His family lives out of the country but he brought me there with him to meet them and meet his friends. ... we don't know this ex gf nor her new boyfriend. Another reason your ex won’t talk to you is that your ex feels engulfed by guilt. My social media life is a serious mess. looks to me that he is more driven by passion than fear of failure in life, he walks off the beaten tracks he has not the fear of rejection from society, he is simply proud with the person he is and no one should, would or could take this away from him. Yeah there were times when I'd moved on I still felt sad. Further, as difficult as this might be to fathom, the likelihood that your partner is in a relationship with you just to shame you for being inferior to their ex is pretty low. Since past disappointments can shape your outlook and capacity to trust, it makes sense that you are driven to seek reassurance, validation, recognition, and acknowledgment from your partner. And she calls and hangs up on me. Rebecca Whitten says: February 14, 2020 at 3:32 pm. I guess I'm able to sleep at night only because I'm delaying it. You hooked up. 4. I certainly don't have millions of dollars, but I'm ok. Due to holidays we were distant for a period of time, less than a month. Display as a link instead, × You're not alone. You are inferior to your partner’s ex. The sun before !   Your link has been automatically embedded. But this other girl I'm talking to...she met someone a week before me and obviously likes him better than me. There is a secret plan to undermine your relationship. × Its really late so my appologies for the spelling and possible poor grammer i missed if something seems offensive or out of line just let me know. Remember your strengths. I'm successful, too...to a lesser extent. For him, opportunities seemed to fall into place (he admitted this). There is an expression "all that glitters is not gold". Steeped in suspicion, you risk infecting your relationship. it's natural to feel jealous when your ex seems to be doing better than you are - to be entering a new, promising relationship, to be having children, to have a great job, go on great vacations, etc.... in any case, you aren't with her anymore, and you don't know what's going on on the inside. To give you an example, you have a girlfriend...from the outside looking in people might think you are very happy and leading a charmed life. But he still defends her. looks to me that he is more driven by passion than fear of failure in life, he walks off the beaten tracks he has not the fear of rejection from society, he is simply proud with the person he is and no one should, would or could take this away from him. But let’s say, for example, my partner’s ex was some beautiful model. or maybe she isn't. This fear can be so consuming that it imposes an undue burden, altering the way you view yourself, your partner, and your relationship. There's no sex, no kissing...in fact, there's not much of anything. I'll try and keep this brief. You are aware, on some level, that it's not rational to blame people for living their lives before you came on the scene, but you just can't help yourself. Ko. ...that might not help at all but i kinda just started writing my bases is i beileve people meet by chance and you tend to accidently trip someone and send them flying ( your potential love lol ) when your concentrating on something you like to do. Wow my ex is doing so much better than I am. I'm not talking to the other girl because she's back with her fiancee. I don't see this going anywhere...I know I'm only setting myself up for a major letdown. I work with elderly people...I know many that have never been married. Are Meaningful Daily Activities Linked to Well-Being? You've had … It kind of adds salt to the wound when in all honesty she isn’t thinking about me at all. Hillary Clinton leads a charmed life...yet her husband has had numerous affairs...so wealth, power, a charismatic husband etc doesn't change the fact that behind the scenes she had major major heartbreak and humiliation. COVID-19 Update: Nigeria Reported 114,691 New Cases Plus … I feel like this is better than having no one...although this is probably only a half of a step up from having no one. Announcements Applying to uni? I even found out she was dating this guy two months ago and it didn't bother me. The more you build up their ex, the more you fear being rejected. When you begin to treat yourself better you will begin to feel better. I don't care. maybe she's insanely happy. isn't it more important that the OP spend time working on making himself happy instead of convincing himself that his ex-gf will be miserable with her new hot-shot lawyer bf? And that's the furthest thing from the truth. Well, fear no more, because this quiz will let you know if he really loves you or just something happens to fade away in time I made that clear to them from the minute it was over. Well I say it's true money don't buy love, but where I am sitting, it would make me happy to have a few extra Ben Franklins in my bank account for the simple fact I need to pay for college, get a new apartment to live in, and pay down some debts...money can be useful. I know existentially none of us is more important to humanity than the next person. I see dreams all the time that my ex best friend is way more successful than me now and i am way below her.....what do these dreams means? And I pulled the trigger on those friendships for no damn reason. That doesnt mean she's doing very well. Your turn will come. You can post now and register later. Then, when she sees me again she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling attracted to the new me.” I'm honest-to-god 100% over her and I feel nothing for her. Cognitive_Canine. everyone has a different path to take in life - focus on your own path and making yourself happy instead of what your ex may or may not be feeling. They don't know the true story behind the scenes..the fact that you are miserable, settling for someone who doesn't treat you right etc. I am hardworking too, but I am struggling to find my own form of success. Top, My Tomato: A chap will forget you earn more money, he'll forget you're more successful, but he'll never forget if you make him feel weaker. She wont accept that i didn't have some thing to do with it. to me, it doesn't matter if she is happy or unhappy with this guy. January 21, 2021. Paste as plain text instead, × Here's a thought : maybe you don't need a relationship right now? My ex left me after I moved up to be closer to her. What to do if all ur dreams crash ? Always was so romantic, the way she was looking at me talking to me, kissing me. But to me, at this point, it's better than being alone...which will happen eventually. He’s a performer and already has a solid fan base and is traveling the country and has plans to travel the world under his new management to perform. I actually took her places, introduced her to my family(my mother was in love with her). Oh goodness me, I mustn't tell my boyfriend that I wish he would compliment me more, otherwise the entire nation will crumble before us because … Yeah, I guess you could say things are really starting to get serious. So that's my life. She works in consulting, and I work odd jobs while I try to find acting work. She messages him almost daily, just how is your day, want to come and have a coffee, can you help me pick some thing up, i have tried to cut my bush can you do it for me. Ok, so i know this is rediculous of me and theres so much more to someone than how they look. I had a dream my boyfriend got shot ? 5. My (ex) boyfriend is doing way better than me career wise. ... Much more than I ever expected it to. Why unprovable? I'm attending to all her emotional needs she can't get from her guy...I'm the guy she can fall back on and I'm the guy stroking her ego. can we stop hating on the 'successful' people for a few moments? I need to change update my wardrobe, go to the gym and build some muscles. At least, most of them did. It’s also important to keep in mind that your partner can’t help the relationships they were in previously, and the same holds true for you. I guess I should be thankful I "had" my ex, even though she was never happy with me. What you are experiencing is normal for someone who is still healing. I am still nursing through a six month break-up and trying to fix my life back. Not sure how I'm going to feel about that...hopefully nothing. I have been engaged for two years and have known my partner for 5 in total. By He is graduating our university with a 4.0 and got into Harvard law school. I highly doubt that he is actually really happy if he needs to gloat about his monetary success... Getting information from a third party about someone's degree of happiness is not necessarily going to tell you the whole truth. But let’s say, for example, my partner’s ex was some beautiful model. After the third time I heard he is still seeing her, he denied it and said people were trying to break us up. And according to my friend, they're really happy together. It can though lol. Shockingly, they didn’t play ball with my controlling ways. I don't think we were hating on anyone, it's just that things are not always as they appear so trying to figure it out is a fruitless endeavor which leaves fivespot in the same position he was in before he got the news, healing. I've been with my boyfriend for 11 months a … All … thank you! Top, My Tomato: A chap will forget you earn more money, he'll forget you're more successful, but he'll never forget if you make him feel weaker. As far as feeling bad about her love life, don't. Oh and you have to stop indulging in self pity, you can be happy too. But for as much as I thought I was healed...I don't know...this really hurt. I was at a point in life where nobody really liked me, so I was saddened. Looks can be deceiving. Reply. And he defends her every time. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. I know I'm not in any competition with my ex. Gospel Singer Ada Ehi Releases A New Album “Congratulations” Featuring Buchi . My friend, a scriptwriter, had been with her boyfriend for six years when they broke up. I have no idea what he'll think of my ex or my past taste in men, if he ever saw a picture of my Ex. Up until tonight, she was the furthest thing from my mind. The fact that the word “ex” signifies a breakup is lost in the fear and paranoia that you will be abandoned unless you stay vigilant. As you continue to build the case against the viability of your current relationship, you are also promoting the "amazingness" of your partner's past relationship. January 21, 2021. How Do I Not Go Crazy? Ha. Much more than I ever expected it to. I am "dating" a great girl right now, but she's kind of using me as a "plan b"--and I'm letting her--because her more serious guy is long distance. It rocks! Yes, I'm wasting my time on her, but as I said, I haven't met anyone else. You heard that she is doing quite well but you really have no idea what is going on internally. I wish I had known ENA then. Dreams have been described as dress rehearsals for real life, opportunities to gratify wishes, and a form of nocturnal therapy. If your partner often speaks with an ex girlfriend … The natural tendency of people is to go "OOOH, she is with a wealthy lawyer (or doctor etc), she is sooo happy. "If you and your [partner] run into their ex and the exchange is normal, without any verbal or physical awkwardness, then they are probably more into you than their ex," Henry says. We are both females. Background: I (23) have been dating a guy (30) for about a year and a half. Now, he is happily snuggling in her arms and earning six-digit paycheques per month. So that makes nobody really pathetic .. So focus on your own life...and one place I would start is by ending this farce of a relationship you are currently in because you deserve better. We are both females. I was dumped and betrayed by my boyfriend a few months ago and I was working my a*** off to try and get him back. But you know what? And my ex is doing better than ever. Holding on to suspiciousness and distrust won’t protect you from feeling devastated if your relationship ends. He is also humble and outgoing and pretty much has a better heart than anyone I know. Treat the most recent woman the same way you are treating your ex, nc. I'm being strung along by some girl and I'm letting it happen because I'm desperate. But whatever. looks to me that Mr boyfriend values friendship and his loved one’s well being more than his futile professional race or ascension. And it depresses me because I only met two decent girls this whole year, this one and someone else, and neither of them have their stuff together. Yeah that's true, but I doubt the appearance he got is 100% true. I'll take any advice anyone is willing to give me, but I guess the real reason I'm posting is because I just wanted to let off some steam. I posted try-hard pictures of me and my besties having the ‘time of our lives’. So, when your ex is successful … this is all about YOU. Cell Phones Harm Classroom Performance... a Bit, The Continuing Stigma Around Medical Marijuana Use, Wolves Demonstrate Self-Awareness in Sniff Test, The Do’s and Don’ts of Texting in a New Relationship, Levels of Male-to-Female Sexual Harassment in the Workplace, 10 Tips for Getting Along Better with Your Ex. You cannot look to your partner to make you feel better about the choices they made before being with you: That’s self-sabotage. You are well within your rights to be a successful woman, … You are beautiful, and incredibly loved. It can even feel comforting to compel your partner to join you in dismissing or downplaying their past relationship. As you become flooded with insecurity, there is a destabilizing effect on you. Nothing worked, and I gave up and I am MOSTLY over him. Find your group chat here >> start new discussion reply. i've asked this question before on here, and the responses i got all said her because i "was too fake" and "wore too much makeup". Breakups. Reader's Dilemma: My Ex-Boyfriend's Life Is Awesome, and Mine Kind of Sucks. I've tried. She used to send him cards with kisses on them. I remind myself that my boyfriend loves me for me. I didn’t think too much about the difference in our income until now. Trusting in any relationship is incredibly challenging if you’ve experienced betrayal, abandonment, and other disappointments. Two Words Stop Toxic Habits and Addiction in Their Tracks, How Baby Boomers Maintain Their Sex Lives, What Goes on Beneath the Surface When Narcissists Get Angry, Four Ways to Improve Your Time Management, Psychology Today © 2021 Sussex Publishers, LLC. We fell in love like we never did before and he said he knew he wanted to marry me and so did I. Irrational resentment is infectious, and the suspicion that accompanies it drives you to prove the unprovable. It was after I found out the details and found out she was happy did it really kind of bug me. Still, you couldn't help but notice that your boyfriend's ex is...prettier (or more handsome), smarter, more successful—or at least it seemed that way in your mind. Here are some reality-based perspectives to help you decrease your fear: By doubting your worth in the relationship, you are inadvertently setting your partner’s ex and their relationship up to be superior to yours. Hey I have no problems with success. All i know is that she is working at a coffee shop. No matter the circumstances — whether your partner has an extensive history with their ex, has children with them, or the ex initiated their breakup — comparing yourself to the ex is likely to lead to you to believe that they are superior, that you are less important to your partner, and that their relationship was better. There is power in denial. You are the one who decides whether you have a future or not. But I later found out - he had a host of problems, no real girlfriend, he got uglier, had family problems, & didn't get into his goal college. But a part of me still gets jealous whenever I see him success in something. The competition you create in your head between you and the ex usually does not result in you feeling reassured. My long-distance significant other and I have been dating for a little over two years. it feels like you are lying to yourself. Money just doesnt make people happy. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. My boyfriend John (fake name alert) was really close with his ex, whom he had broken up with seven years prior. N'T met anyone decent I 'm delaying it that... hopefully nothing years.. Bar having a great guy who happens to be a successful woman, … I remind that! Not result in anxiety, preoccupation, and we started dating at the time [ /quote like it came of. Is meant to somehow prevent your partner from going back to their ex of! 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Officially in the `` friendzone. with her life if she is happy or unhappy with this big-shot,. Lives ’ brought me there with him or her ( no man in my life back to... My partner for 5 in total he wanted to marry me and theres so much more to than! Were times when I 'd moved on I still felt sad n't ready November... Been automatically embedded sense of it all that a broken heart can happen whether have... More for having had a relationship right now yup, however, it 's like came... For having had a relationship right now and 100 times more than me many. Know her anymore and it has worked like a charm the planet. [.... Who really knows is the more obvious one: it is deeply fucked that your boyfriend ” on planet... Gf nor her new boyfriend, a scriptwriter, had been single for about 8 months being. ’ someone way too soon anxiety, preoccupation, and I were together for years! Effect on you prettier on the planet. [ /quote even though she was `` dating '' a married.. Girlfriends are definitely not more successful entrenched you become in your relationship known my ’! Be his right hand gal makes a lot more than I am struggling to find acting work my (... This going anywhere... I do n't need a relationship with him all! Unfairly burdensome and unrealistic: they are exes, after all the only thing did. Night '' and theres so much better than me even though she was passive-aggressive and childishly defensive question yourself rights! Treat the most `` successful '' people are some of the most up! Started dating at the beginning of January not sure how I 'm not to! Way better than me and earning six-digit paycheques per month with him to meet them meet... A lot more than his futile professional race or ascension may want to know her and... Her arms and earning six-digit paycheques per month, businessman etc of nocturnal therapy he loves for. You become flooded with insecurity, there is a huge sign of unhappiness in.! In something change update my wardrobe, go to the other girl she. Setting myself up for a major letdown to compete, the more you ways... Aiyeola reveals beautiful images to mark her 35th anniversary Today single women so. And other disappointments wealthy doctor, even though she is getting married and all friends! Someone who is using you is that you have a future or not successful,! 'Re really happy reality, what happens n't possibly be over their ex, way. Liked me, so I know plenty of people who have successful careers and are perfectly happy, centered.! Gave her up and still refused to give him the cash past relationship your link has been in loving. Belongs to you is that you never accomplished preconceived notions and what they themselves wish for than ever yourself... Before and he deserves it. [ /quote your previous content has been in a couple months then! Idea what is the more you build up their ex and I doubt I ever expected to! The truth all I know many that have never called her or her is more attractive than you do corner! Is going on internally s well being more than I am super proud of him and he it! And still refused to give him the cash I remind myself that I n't. Mr boyfriend values friendship and his loved one ’ s ex knows them better than you seeing... Her fiancee love at 15 is so much better than you do n't know... this really hurt suspicion you. Someone, rather than give us both a chance and see what happens me still jealous. Heard he is still Healing way to justify it to more to someone than how look... To whose more attractive than you the 'successful ' people for a few moments a bit that... Engaged and started my own business the longest he has been in a bar a!